Thursday, September 23, 2010
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Sunny days while they last
OK so yesterday was a bad day for me. I have been feeling very depressed about life in general lately.Monday was my Birthday and i turned 55. I am sure that had some to do with my mood of lately.Being chronic ill with behcets and FMS some days are allot worse then others. With the lost of my grandson not being here everyday after school was enough to send me over the edge. I have been crying over every thing putting my foot down to people treating me like a door mat.(You know who you are ).
Its hard to put on a happy face when your own body is attacking itself and you have fevers and sores all over where it hurts to move. I have always tried to look at the bright side of things not one to see gloom or negative .I am guessing with my birthday and everything that has happened lately i had forgotten to do just that see the light not the dark.
I am sure unless you walk in my shoes you just wont get it. Money not here to pay our bills because we have to live on my husbands income. Not feeling good and not going back on the chemo medicine because of the cost of them might not been the best choice for me.Between menopause and behcets the continued pain and sadness from lost of what i think i am good at it all added up.
So from now on its back to the light side. I will count my blessing and know someone out there is worse off then i am !
I will be thankful i have a home a warm bed to sleep in a husband who loves me even with all the ailments.Grown children healthy and grand children who think i can walk on water is enough for me today to see the light.
I will get my sewing back out and tackle the projects i want to do even if they have to sit in-between flare ups.
I will be posting pictures soon of the beach trips and the sewing i have done to share with everyone.
I will be grateful i have lost already 17 lbs and glade i am half way to my goal of 40 lbs.
I will go outside and reflect on the hard work i have done in the flower beds and enjoy the nature and birds who feast on them every day.
The Leaves Are Turning
Today, be mindful of the change of season and spend some time outdoors. Reflect on the cyclic changes within yourself as well.
Its hard to put on a happy face when your own body is attacking itself and you have fevers and sores all over where it hurts to move. I have always tried to look at the bright side of things not one to see gloom or negative .I am guessing with my birthday and everything that has happened lately i had forgotten to do just that see the light not the dark.
I am sure unless you walk in my shoes you just wont get it. Money not here to pay our bills because we have to live on my husbands income. Not feeling good and not going back on the chemo medicine because of the cost of them might not been the best choice for me.Between menopause and behcets the continued pain and sadness from lost of what i think i am good at it all added up.
So from now on its back to the light side. I will count my blessing and know someone out there is worse off then i am !
I will be thankful i have a home a warm bed to sleep in a husband who loves me even with all the ailments.Grown children healthy and grand children who think i can walk on water is enough for me today to see the light.
I will get my sewing back out and tackle the projects i want to do even if they have to sit in-between flare ups.
I will be posting pictures soon of the beach trips and the sewing i have done to share with everyone.
I will be grateful i have lost already 17 lbs and glade i am half way to my goal of 40 lbs.
I will go outside and reflect on the hard work i have done in the flower beds and enjoy the nature and birds who feast on them every day.
The Leaves Are Turning
Today, be mindful of the change of season and spend some time outdoors. Reflect on the cyclic changes within yourself as well.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
WOW time files
Its been a long summer at Grandmas house.My sewing machine is still sitting waiting for room to put it back up.We have made 2 beach trips this summer.!st we went camping at bar view jetty with Kasey and Amie and all grand kids.We had a blast.Weather was perfect .Then the next weekend we went to seaside where my oldest brother rented house for all of us .Family reunion time was full of kids and fun.
Caleb mom moved so I do not have him after school now.It has broken my heart and spirit that she chose to leave the clean and sober living to move in a 2 bed room apt with 3 adults and 3 kids.Caleb has to share a bed with Tessa and i just don't think that right.He doesn't know where any of his things are and is now lumped in as a middle kid who does not have the attention he needs from his mom and the safety of our home to help him through life.It really put me in a spot to where i have had to draw a line in the sand and not help at all so maybe his mom will learn to stand on her own two feet.I give it less then 6 mths and we will be back to where we were 1yr ago.
Our garden has not produced at all this year.We don't even have tomatoes ripe yet.too much rain to start with and now fall is here.We will have to buy produce to can which is not a good thing and does not help cut the cost of food at all.
Caleb mom moved so I do not have him after school now.It has broken my heart and spirit that she chose to leave the clean and sober living to move in a 2 bed room apt with 3 adults and 3 kids.Caleb has to share a bed with Tessa and i just don't think that right.He doesn't know where any of his things are and is now lumped in as a middle kid who does not have the attention he needs from his mom and the safety of our home to help him through life.It really put me in a spot to where i have had to draw a line in the sand and not help at all so maybe his mom will learn to stand on her own two feet.I give it less then 6 mths and we will be back to where we were 1yr ago.
Our garden has not produced at all this year.We don't even have tomatoes ripe yet.too much rain to start with and now fall is here.We will have to buy produce to can which is not a good thing and does not help cut the cost of food at all.
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